Not Strong Enough
by iPanda16
Summary: Ryou contemplates his relationship with the spirit of the millennium ring from start to finish as his feelings grow stronger and more complicated... one-shot, tendershipping


_Not Strong Enough_

_I'm not strong enough to stay away._

_Can't run from you._

_I just run back to you._

_Like a moth I'm drawn to your flame._

Ryou tried as much as he could to avoid his darker half. He tried removing the millennium ring but would only end up wearing it because a persistent voice demanded him to keep it on at all costs. He knows it's wrong but he would always find himself wearing the dammed ring anyway. Why does he keep doing this to himself? The spirit would only hurt him and his friends once the necklace was on. Is it that he's somehow attached to the spirit? He shook his head at the thought as it is impossible to have any kind of feelings for the evil spirit. Unless he has Stockholm Syndrome. Again he shook his head at the thought but this time with a disbelieving smile on his face. How could he have that when he knows he doesn't care for the spirit and that all he wants is it to be gone? The spirit has done no good to Ryou so he pushed the thought of Stockholm Syndrome to the back of his mind believing that it is impossible for him to feel anything remotely positive to _him._

_You say my name._

_You look in my eyes._

_I'm stripped of my pride._

_And my soul surrenders._

_And you bring my heart to its knees._

The spirit did have it's ways of persuading Ryou into doing many despicable things that Ryou would normally object too. Ryou always felt weak when the spirit revealed himself to him. Like his heart beat faltered and his breathing became hard for him. Or that his stomach fluttered a little whenever he flashed him a grin. Maybe Ryou really was weak for the spirit to persuade him this way into doing so many unforgivable acts just by looking at him with those thoughtful eyes and that smile making Ryou think all is well when really it's far from it. Was Ryou gullible? Or is it something else?

_And it's killing me when you're away._

_And I wanna leave._

_And I wanna stay._

_I am so confused._

_So hard to choose between_

_the pleasure and the pain!_

Ryou wouldn't admit to anyone else but since his mother and younger sister died he has felt extremely lonely. Not to mention his father is always out on his archeology exhibits. So having the spirit around isn't too bad for him. He does provide for him some company every now and then. But when the spirit isn't around Ryou would go back to sitting in his room waiting for the spirit to come back. It doesn't make sense to him because he hates the spirit yet he likes the spirit at the same time. Ryou can't decide which he feels more for the spirit as he can't decipher what this inner turmoil could mean. He hates him- _he's his friend- _he hurt his friends-_ he didn't mean too_- yes he did-_ you know you can't prove that-_ leave me alone!

_And I know it's wrong._

_And I know it's right._

_And even if I try to win the fight._

_My heart will overrule my mind._

_And I'm not strong enough to stay away!_

The spirit has arrived again and just like that Ryou is happy to see him back. On the inside though he's fighting with himself. How could he fall so low for that monster?

"What's wrong, yadonushi?" The spirit asked. Ryou looked up surprised to see him speak. Well he has always spoken to Ryou it's just he's never asked anything that concerned Ryou. Could it be that he has feelings for him too?

"Oh, It's nothing… I just haven't been feeling well lately…" Ryou muttered. The spirit nodded as if he actually bought what he said.

"Then you should get some rest. You have school tomorrow." He said. Ryou nodded and moved from his desk and curled up under his bed sheets closing his eyes to block out the world. Oh, how confusing this was for him.

_I'm not strong enough to stay away._

_What can I do?_

_I would die without you._

_In your presence my heart knows no shame._

_I'm not to blame._

'_Cuz you bring my heart to it's knees!_

Ryou had no idea who to turn too about his problem. He couldn't just go up to the spirit and ask him how he felt about the boy. And he couldn't go to his friends either because he's afraid of them judging him for even having feelings for the spirit. Maybe he could go to Yugi? Yugi knows what it's like to have a spirit inside him but the spirit is good. Not evil like Ryou's spirit. Somehow calling his spirit evil felt foreign to him. Like the word didn't properly describe him well enough. Maybe Ryou does have Stockholm syndrome because in the beginning Ryou felt nothing but resentment to the spirit, but now… What was happening to Ryou?

_And it's killing me when you're away._

_I wanna leave._

_I wanna stay._

_I'm so confused._

_So hard to choose between the pleasure and the pain!_

_And I know it's wrong._

_And I know it's right._

_Even if I try to win the fight,_

_My heart will overrule my mind._

_And I'm not strong enough to stay away!_

Ryou decided he should come to the spirit about his feelings and inner turmoil. Well at this point Ryou's not even sure to consider it a turmoil anymore. It's almost as if he excepted the fact that he's in love with the spirit. Kind of strange as the spirit has been dead for three thousand years and has done nothing but trouble for Ryou. But the spirit has also done some good for him like making sure Ryou doesn't get hurt by bullies or thugs, or looking after him when he's asleep. Ryou can't think for himself anymore and wants to tell the spirit and hope that the spirit will feel the same way for him.

_There's nothing I can do._

_My heart is chained to you!_

_And I can't get free!_

_Look what this love's done to me?_

"What is it, yadonushi?" The spirit asked gruffly. Ryou flinched already knowing that he's impatient. Not that Ryou can blame him. Ryou has been acting distant lately, or so he's been told by his friends and the spirit.

"Well, you see… I think that I may have… I don't know… Like you? As more than a friend…?" Ryou murmured. The spirit quirked an eye brow as if wondering what he could be getting at.

"Well, I know you've done some awful things in the past but you also seem to have a nicer side… A side that only I can see while everyone else thinks of you as a monster. And I know that you're technically a ghost but I can't help on how I feel anymore. You've been good company too me since father left and has stopped those bullies from picking on me. Some people are afraid of me but it's better than being teased by everyone, right?" The spirit didn't answer that. Only continued to stare at Ryou with that "Get-on-with-it" expression. Ryou sighed.

"I guess what I'm saying is that I've fallen for you despite all that's happened." Ryou didn't have time to respond when he saw a flash of white and felt a pair of lips crash onto his. Ryou nearly had a heart attack once he realized that the spirit was roughly kissing him on the lips and practically had him pushed up against the wall of his bedroom. The spirit pushed his tongue into Ryou's mouth and started exploring Ryou's moist cavern. He was moving so fast that Ryou was getting confused and wondered what his next move was. When Ryou closed his eyes and kissed back the spirit pulled away apparently having his fill for the moment. Ryou was speechless. What was left of his common sense was completely tossed out the window and Ryou no longer felt shame for his feelings for the spirit anymore despite all the wrong doings he continues to do.

_And it's killing me when you're away._

_I wanna leave,_

_I wanna stay._

_I'm so confused,_

_So hard to choose._

_Between the pleasure and the pain._

_And I know it's wrong,_

_And I know it's right._

_Even if I try to win the fight,_

_My heart will overrule my mind!_

_And I'm not strong enough__to stay away!_


End file.
